155th

it is the day of love. lets talk about love, shall we? no, not because i celebrate valentine's. i seriously don't.

i have been searching for love all my life, devoid of discerning the genuine meaning of it. imagining it to be like how it is written in children fairytale storybooks.

along that dreamy journey of mine, love was stirred by a fella who taught me to breathe the air of giddies and desirous. but that was merely it, giddy and desire, and nothing more to that. for that short moment everything seemed surreal, i loved and next within that short moment, i lost. and that bamboozled this one confuse lady more of the true gist of love, until realization hit at a point that love was looked at the wrong place. that was not what love is, at all.

still, that does not end me from my endless endeavor searching for love.

crossing paths with manifold genus episodes from families, friends, acquaintances and strangers made the self exploration of understanding love effortless. unearthing love is not rocket science. first thing first, it begins within loving the truly self.

love is to trust and to believe, to share and to care, never to judge and never to change. love is being together, to complete, to accept.

and today, these lovely friends furnished further understanding of what love actually means. and the essentiality on preserving love is just to have fun laughing with and to each other.

our very own way of spending the valentine's day, our very own photo shoot at WOWphoto's very own studio, sponsored by our very own miss izyan.

our many thanks for spreading the love sayang!

there are certainly more to be discovered on the subject of love all along this journey in living this mysterious life. knowing of how much to love, how much to hold and how much to let go.

moving on to letting go.

deepest condolence to a dearest friend of mine and my personal favourite man for the loss of his beloved father due to lung infections on the midday of friday before the prayers.

no utterance could describe my warm sympathy to his loss. given the situation he is in now in my shoes, certainties of me being at my lowest point powerless to being cool, calm and collected as how he was on that gloomy day are beyond measures. surely will break and shatter for i am never good in dealing with death. recollections of relatives passing away despairs the heart. above all, observing the loved ones keeping their sorrow to themselves, being in grief. i am not prepared to accept the possibility of losing my love ones just yet, even so death is an unavoidable issue to speak of for it is inevitable for each soul to leave this impermanent world. i am just not. i am still learning to love and i am way far off from the part of letting go.

Al fatihah to arwah.